New Title New Beginning

I decided that the time has come to return to the blogging scene and actually make this thing work. Instead of writing I constantly have found myself just talking out a script for either an audio blog entry or a text one. Well while I look into the idea of a speech-to-text software, and maybe a slightly better microphone, I will mainly utilize typing for the first few entries to the new version of The Den Blog. You might be asking, "Why The Den? The Loser's Guide to Life had character to it, why change it to something so simple?" Well the reason is simple, with a name like the Loser's Guide to Life it felt that I had to kinda order the entries like an actual guide and not just let things flow like I want to do.

Don't worry nothing else changes, all previous entries will remain the same, and the true message of this blog remains the same. But from now on we move towards the new dawn of The Den. The Den will be a place that not only includes my opinions, but hopefully intelligent dialogue of my design designed to drum up questions and debate. I hope to regain lost fans, and gain new ones. I'm not sure if my Drewid is tagging along, but I hope he is, and maybe we can get another contributor involved. I have my first big project lined up, I just have to decided weather to finish my text script, or go with a audio log. I shall have that entry up by the end of the coming week. So until then, please come on in, take a seat, and welcome to The Den!

Losertext Review: L.A. Noire

What’s up guys, S.F. here bringing you another wonderful Losercast…or Losertext in this case? I’ve been working on some new ideas for the blog so in the meantime thought I’d type out a review for one of the games that has been soaking up so much of my time lately. L.A. Noire…or Rockstar’s penance for the sins of the GTA and Manhunt games they are so famous for as I’d like to call it. This game released about a month ago which means I’m actually reviewing a newer release. OMG!!! A relevant game review; say it isn’t so!

This game places you into the shoes of Detective Cole Phelps of the LAPD during the late 1940s and early 50s. Your mission is simple, clean up this town one case at a time. As you progress through the game you will work a wide variety of cases as you progress through 4 different desks; Traffic, Homicide, Vice, and Arson all await your detective skills. Each case starts up the same you watch a cutscene showing the crime, then a cutscene showing the case being given to you and you’re A.I. controlled partner (sorry no co-op in this one), and then you are off to the crime scene.

Upon arriving at the crime scene you will be briefed by other policemen and the coroner if available and begin one of the biggest aspects of the game, investigation. You will walk around the scene of the crime, or places on interest later on, and look for clues to establish who the criminal is. This essentially boils down to a scavenger hunt with you holding onto your controller waiting for it to vibrate. When your controller vibrates it means you have found an inspect-able item and Cole will pick it up and take a look at it. Now most of the time this will lead to a clue being added to your notebook for future reference, but other times it will lead to it being a piece of trash, Cole will smart off how it isn’t needed, and you will waste your time. I understand having some of these items in the game to throw you off, especially if you turn off the vibrations, but if I’m in a kitchen investigating, I do not want to pick up the wooden fork and ladle that aren’t covered in blood. Also while in an area with clues still to be found music will play, when you find all the clues it goes all Legend of Zelda and stops letting you know to ignore any other vibrations and move on.

This leads to probably the most important part of the game the interrogations. Here you really get to see the graphics budget at work if you didn’t already. When questioning someone their faces move in a very lifelike manner. This is due to Rockstar utilizing MotionScan technology which places 32 HD cameras around the actors as they deliver their lines in order to capture even the most subtle of movements. After asking someone a question you will be asked to decide if they are telling the truth, are lying and you have proof to validate your claims, or if you doubt them which is essentially saying “you’re lying, but I can’t prove it”. Making the correct choice will give you more information and open new line of questioning, while making the wrong choice can close venues of questioning and make your job harder.

To help you though are intuition points which are earned as you rank up in the game, these points serve one of three purposes. They can remove a wrong choice from a line of questioning, allow you to reveal all remaining clues in the area you are currently in, or ask the community which choice they picked. You can have up to 5 of these stored up at a time, for the most part are very useful when in a tough situation.

After questioning a few people you might find yourself in a hostile situation. Enter the 3^rd aspect combat. I know combat taking a backseat in a Rockstar game it sounds crazy, but hear me out. When engaging suspects its either by foot, car, with your fists, or with a gun. The first two are pretty standard you chase the suspect down and bring him in. The 3^rd is a pretty standard punch out setup. Finally the gun play is…shallow, with a much smaller arsenal of guns as in other games you will mainly be using your pistol. If you are able to go back to your squad car you can get a shotgun or Tommy gun (if you get the free DLC) for a little more punch. The games uses the GTA 4 cover based combat controls, and you will need it as you can only take few bullets before everything goes all black and white.

The variety of the cases is what makes this game unique, as each desk provides new challenges, a new partner, and a new story. The lack of a morality system might be a turn off for some people, but I like it here. You are supposed to be the good cop righting the wrongs, not a crocked cop trying to bring the city farther down. The MotionScan technology is nice and the city is bright and detailed. Though it isn’t the prettiest game out right now it still looks good even if just for the MotionScan faces.

That being said this game is touted as an open-world game…which it is NOT!!! The fact is while you can drive around the city there isn’t anything to do. Most Rockstar open-world games have a variety of side quests to do if you get bored with the main story. All there are in L.A. Noire aside from the main story cases are Street Crimes which are just smaller cases that all normally lead to a gun fight, and collectible hunting. Golden film reels, landmarks, and the 95 different cars of the street all are ready for you to collect. If there isn’t anything to do why roam the city there is no point. It feels very shackled down with the game almost saying, “Ok drive around you WILL do this case eventually.”

In the end this is a great game that pushes the run-and-gun style of GTA to the back burner and forces gamers to actually think like a detective. With a good sound track of jazz, some great actors behind the characters and cases that will make you want to play again not just to improve your rating on the case, but just in case you missed some new line of dialogue. L.A. Noire fills the unknown void of a great detective game in this generation. It just feels a little shallow with very little to do besides the cases. I look forward to the slew of DLC this game will have for it just to see what else Rockstar has cooked up for this start of a few franchise.

L.A. Noire earned itself an 8/10.

   

The Portable Loser #1

 

So Tigersclaw, my resident artist, has decided to step up and do some portable game reviews. To start this new section off he does Pokemon Black/White. I added a few of my own comments in, but this is all T.C. Enjoy!

Pokemon Black & White Review

Brought to you by Loser’s Guide to Life

Well here we are with another Loser’s Guide to Life video game review. I’ll start off by pointing out this is not S. F. This is tigersclaw69, tigersclaw91, or drewid whatever you want to call me. Ok let’s get started.

Just to note, for now, my format will be similar to S.F’s.

Pokemon Black & White

Now more than likely if you’re a gamer you’ve at least heard of a Pokémon game. No you say? Well as surprising as that is you’re in luck, because today I’m going to do a rundown review of the newest generation of the Pokémon games with a look back at some of the previous titles.

First off for those of us who don’t know Pokemon Black & White are the sister titles of the fifth generation of the Pokémon games. Every generation before has always had two sister titles and usually a special version and some spinoffs with it, but enough about the good ol’ days. Oh they were good… (S.F. Comment: That they were…)

Like the games before, Black and White are virtually the same games with minute differences. Each has certain Pokémon only available to each game, as well as an entire town/city/ (forest?) exclusive to the title. Pokemon Black is home to Black City and allows the player to capture the legendary Pokémon Reshiram while Pokemon White lets you get lost in White Forest and capture Zekrom.

The big selling point for this game to me was that the story is far more engaging than in previous titles. As you travel from city to city you actively interact with the Gym Leaders and battle against Team Plasma (S.F.: Comment: Team Rocket, Magma, Galactic, Aqua, and now Plasma…at least the bad guy’s keep their names original.) on a regular basis, but more on that aspect later.

Pokemon Black & White*

Published by Nintendo

Developed by Game Freak

Available for any DS, Dsi, and 3DS

Definitely a Role Playing Game

US release date was March 6^th, 2011

*Though the games are virtually the same I’ll be specifically be pointing out elements of Pokemon Black.

Story: You play a teenager, girl or boy your choice, that is given a monumental task to record information on every Pokémon in existence, but that’s probably too technical. You and your friends are given your first Pokémon as a gift from Pokémon expert Professor Juniper (S.F. Comment: Oak, Elm, Birch hey we have pattern here don’t we). Hey it’s just like every other Pokémon game! Anyways she also gives you a Pokedex that lets you record information on new species of Pokémon you encounter. Pretty standard Pokémon stuff, but what makes it different is this time you have two rivals; Cheren, the kind of a dusch bag rival, and Bianca the airhead. Cheren will always choose the Pokémon with the stronger type then you, Bianca will take the type weaker than yours.

So without trying to spoil much I’ll just give a quick summary of the actual story before delving into the actual gameplay and features that everyone cares about. You have eight gym leaders to fight just like every other Pokémon game. Once you have beaten them all you can challenge the elite four and the champion. Along the way you run into Team Plasma who seems like a Pokémon version of PETA. Although Team Plasma is rather hypocritical, they are trying to force trainers to release their Pokémon, yet they use their own Pokémon to do this. Oh well if you play it you’ll learn more.

Pokemon Black tries to mix it up from the previous games. The first gym leader is three people. The one you challenge depends on your starter; if you choose the fire starter you get to fight the water gym leader… sounds hard right? No not really, if you follow the games advice and go to the Dreamyard east of the town a girl will give you a special monkey Pokémon. The monkey Pokémon is one of three Pokémon either a fire, water, or grass monkey. The one you get is the weaker type from your starter, which is a stronger type than the gym leader and your rival (S.F. Comment: So they hand you the Pokemon that will trump all opposition for the first city in the game…oversimplification go!). Just level the monkey a little and you can smash the gym leader and be on your way. The elite four is structured differently this time around. Instead of fighting each one in a specific order you can choose which of the four to fight in any order you wish.

Something to note about this game unlike the previous titles is that during the main story there is no use of any of the previous generations of Pokemon. But once you’ve completed the main story and start to challenge the new trainers they start throwing nearly everything at you. One of the faults I found after completing the main story though was that there is about a 15 level gap between what you need to beat the league and the trainers of the new areas. Unless you have a strong party from previous games like Pearl/Diamond/Platinum/HeartGold/SoulSilver, which you can now transfer over, you’re in for a grind to catch up.

Once this gap has been cleared you’ll find there is a plethora of end game content with plenty of ways to level up your Pokemon and challenge the now stronger elite four. Daily events like the sports arenas, cruise ship, challenging the riches family, and giving your rival his daily ass kicking make it very easy to level up your Pokemon. The sports arenas have anywhere from 6 to 10 trainers and always two double battles each. The cruise ship will have 3 to 7 trainers depending on the day. All the Pokemon from these events are between level 62 and 67. Though I wish they still had the gym leader rematch system from Heartgold and Soulsilver but these new systems do the job well enough.

With over 600 Pokemon to capture, and train if you please, the games have plenty of ways to eat away the days of your life. I’m sitting at around 55 hours now with the elite four beaten the second time and there is still plenty I want to do.

Rundown

Playability: 9/10

The controls are smooth and easy to learn. The touch screen is integrated nicely without being a requirement to use. I recommend using the stylus when doing any kind of sorting in your Pokemon boxes.

Graphics: 7/10

For a Pokemon game they’re these are the best graphics yet. New three dimensional aspects make some areas very interesting. But frankly I’ve seen several games with better graphics than these games. Personally this doesn’t bother me but hey I’m doing a review so I need to be critical. One neat thing that was a big plus is that when a Pokemon is asleep their eyes actually close. They also move around during battles making them feel more alive and animated.

Length/Replability: 10/10

The main story feels long enough and keeps you engaged while playing. After beating the main game the scope only gets larger with hundreds of hours’ worth of things to do.

Sound: 7/10

Many Pokemon still make annoying noises and many areas still have annoying background and battle music. On the other side of the coin many of the exciting story battles and gym leaders have very good music behind them. I still hate bicycle music! (S.F. Comment: You and me both brother!)

Overall: 9/10

This game has proven Pokemon games are only getting better as time goes on. Amazing depth, gameplay, and surprisingly good balance keep the Pokemon craze alive around the world. If you’re into roleplaying games, fun multiplayer aspects, and collecting destructive monsters these are your games. Buy one or both the choice is yours; both offer a great game at a great price.

VG Review: Saint's Row 2

Might as well get this fucker rolling shall we? Do you love GTA (Grand Theft Auto for those living under a rock)? Were you disappointed when the cooky almost arcade feel of the series got dunked in realism when it hit the next gen consoles? Are you just looking for a game that's like GTA, will provide you with hours of entertainment, and features a minigame where you drive a septic truck through a rich neighborhood and lower the property value of the entire city? If you said yes to all three of these then there's probably a mental institution waiting for you, but more importantly Saint's Row 2 just might be your new best friend (cause you already have SO many of those).

The Breakdown

  Title: Saint's Row 2

Publisher: THQ

Developer: THQ, Volition Inc.

Platform: PS3, Xbox 360*, PC

Genera: Open-World, Action, Shooter

Released: 10-14-2008 (I know its old, but give it a chance)

 *=Version I'm reviewing

The Story:

You might be thinking at this point, "Well what generic main character with a checkered past am I going to play as, and how soon til the first of many betrayals?" Well you are going to be pleasantly surprised, as since this is the sequel to the 2006 Saints Row your main characters checkered past can be summed up like this. He walked down the street in Stillwater City, nearly gets killed in a gang crossfire, gets saved by the 3rd Street Saints, joins up with them to clean the city up (cause he had nothing better to do I guess), kills all three gangs (because even though he couldn't handle a few thugs he can take on an three armies worth of them), and then gets betrayed. All right so one part of the formula made the trip. Anyway, five years have past since the end of Saint's Row when *SPOILER ALERT* You were betrayed by the leader of the Saints, and blown up while on a boat with a politician (obviously corrupt but hey just pointing it out). You're in jail, the city has once again been taken over by three gangs, cause we couldn't use this opportunity to expand or anything, and you must break free and reestablish control of Stillwater City for you and the 3rd Street Saints.  Pretty basic as you just did this exact thing back in 2006.

Gameplay:

Gameplay in SR2 is pretty standard. Get missions from NPCs (Non-player Characters), drive across the city to get to said mission, kill gang members sporting colors that aren't purple, ???, and profit. With three different gangs that means you can progress along one of three different stories. These can be done all in one shot, or split up among the various other gangs. Variety is the spice of life you know.

This brings up my first big problem with this game. Didn't we already do this song and dance a few years back? Yeah we did in SR1 you beat three gangs each with their own unique color and style. Los Carnales sported Red, was filled with Hispanics, and loved to trade in guns and drugs. The Vice Kings donned yellow and did the dirty deeds of gambling, prostitution, and racketeering. Finally we had the Westside Rollerz (no that's how it's spelled, and it hurt to put that Z in there) who are rich white boys and Asians who love fast cars, and racing them. What made these gangs great was that they not only were stereotypical, but they were so stereotypical that it was almost like a parody of their real life counterparts. 

However, in SR2 instead we get the Sons of Samdi who are also drug dealers, ok so they are black (more specifically Jamaican) and wearing green, but the premises is the same. The Ronin, an odd mix of Yakuza and the Rollers (screw that fucking Z), and picking up the Vice Kings old yellow flag. Lastly we have the Bortherhood in red which is...ok so this is pretty original. These guys are like tribal tattooed, roughneck, big truck driving assholes. It would have been nice to either see either more gangs, or at least some new colors. I know its petty argument, but when your map is either red, yellow, green, or purple it stands out.

Story missions aside this game really starts to shine up real nice when you go away from conformity and start playing the minigames. These range from basic ones like racing, lifting specific cars, and completing hit lists. Then we jump off the cliff of reason and start fucking the town up. Everything from the septic truck fun I mentioned earlier to driving a flaming mini go-cart through a course leaving only chaos and explosions in your wake. There's also performing in a parody of the TV show COPS, stealing hookers from pimps, and finally culminating with being given a rocket launcher and a neighborhood full of destructible objects and told to go nuts.

These side games are not only fun but profitable. You earn cash which is used to buy clothes, cars, and weapons to advance your character. Respect is needed to unlock new missions, and without it the game stubbornly tells you you need to play a minigame just to progress the story. This can be a problem early on, but eventually you'll have a massive stockpile of respect and be able to do enough missions to finish the game twice over. The amount of respect you earn is augmented by your Style meter. You gain style based on the clothes your wearing, the cars you buy, and how you style your various safe houses.

With that we can go into customization which is probably the best aspect of SR2. You can customize the color and design of just about every piece of clothing in the game. You can also trick out cars with new paint, rims, and reinforced plating to make your cars similar in durability to that of a Sherman Tank. Your gang's look is also up for change, from Preps to Ninjas there is a variety to how your gang looks, and the cars they will drive. You unlock new looks and car packs for your gang by completing various story missions.

You are also a blank canvas at the start of the game. Even if you played SR1 and was black as hell at night, you can switch things up and be as white as a full moon. You can change your body's shape and look even though that's pretty standard now-a-days. However, you can also change how you walk, talk, taunt, and fight. This is a problem though as you were a mute in SR1, even though they make various references back to that in SR2. The big issue with this is the voice choices. You either sound like a black guy, a Hispanic gangster, or a Australian white guy (cause that's so gangsta!). More variety in the voices would've been nice so I didn't have to play as a white guy with a black man's voice just cause I couldn't stand the Australian accent (nothing against Australians, but this just sounded terrible).

Graphics:

Graphics in this game are...well not the greatest. I really don't see much on an upgrade here from SR1, and that game looked like a Mid-tier Xbox original title. Characters models sometimes don't look the smoothest, but not to the point where you can't tell who you are looking at. Too often you'll find yourself driving along only to have buildings pop into focus and distract you from the nice drive. A few times I even had glitches where the road disappeared and I was driving on air for a few moments.  

Controls: 

Saints Row 2 doesn't really set the world on fire with any innovative controls. If you played SR1 you know the controls of SR2. This might not help you PS3 and PC players out there, but...too bad, that's why I picked the 360 version to review. For the most part they are standard, and functional. Still not a fan of the weapon select system, but I got used to it after a while.

Sound:

Saints Row 2 features a wide variety of licensed music for you to enjoy while driving generic cars that you know are real cars, but THQ (as well as the other companies that makes this style of games) was too cheap to get the licenses for the actual names. Artists feature 50 Cent, My Chemical Romance, Paramore, LCD Soundsystem, and Avenged Sevenfold. I personally found this the most varied and overall best licensed soundtrack I have seen in an open world game. The variety ensures that on any given station there's always something to listen to. When looking at voice actors the game does boast a few high name actors including Keith David, Neil Patrick Harris, and Jay Mohr.

Online

Aside from the three DLC packs that are out for SR2, the game boasts a full online multiplayer system. This includes Co-op for the story, as well as competitive matchmaking. Players can join forces to conquer the entire story mode as well as all the activities. There is also the standard fare of competitive gametypes such as deathmatch and team deathmatch. The real draw to SR2's multiplayer though lies in Strong Arm mode. This puts two teams against each other for control of a section of Stillwater. By killing rival players, completing activities, and holding "tag spots" the teams earn money, and the first team to reach $100,000 wins. *PROTIP* Even if you don't plan on doing the multiplayer, do the tutorial to earn a free Achievement.

Overall:

While SR2 doesn't revolutionize GTA-style (cause they did do it the best) games, it does deliver an experience that hasn't been seen since GTA:SA or VC from this style; just plain fun. It's the kind of game that has a story, but it does so much to take the piss out of itself you can't help but enjoy it. I loved this game, and recommend it to anyone looking for a fun PS2-era GTA style game that hasn't been dunked in realism. Just don't expect a good looking game.

Score:

Saint's Row 2: 8/10

Pros: Fun, easy to pick up and play, lots of customization, and very good soundtrack selection.

Cons: Not the best looking game, online isn't very balanced or fun (in my opinion), and story is pretty generic.

So there you have it my first review out of the way. Stop by next week when I'll be doing another throwback review to prepare you all for the upcoming hit Fallout: New Vegas. I'm gonna tackle Fallout 3 and ALL of its DLC. So until next time I'm S.F. and I'll be here same Loser blog, same Loser Blogger...Channel.  

Introduction

Welcome fellow losers, if you have stumbled into this blog on accident...I'm sorry. However, for the three of you who are actually interested in this blog, you will find a variety of topics that could very well help you. Everything from reviews of the hottest video games and moves, general ranting and raving, and general life tips I have acquired over my short but knowledge filled life. keep checking back here for ways to improve your life, and in turn the lives of everyone else.

Until next time,
S.F.